Disco Lights

Foreign Disco Lights
Shimmer on stained glass windows
I think I see Your eyes
And moonbeams mirror thousand reflections
like broken prisms in space

How long has it been
when what i thought was what i really saw
when illusions were real
and delusions were dreams

i forget time and drift in your memory
tic tac, tic tac, then silence devours sound
When words are no longer enough
can you lend me your tears?

Declined Angels, descending Divinity
Forgotten prayers and unsung hymns
I said I'd give up wings for you
when i fall from heaven, will you welcome me back?

There was warmth in your cold embrace
Andi think of passion while you faked the kiss
Looked for love in seemingly knowing touches
Begged for freedom in your bound


I love you, I love you,I still do love you
Enough to take oblivion overlooking pain
When foreign Disco Lights
finally fade away
Neither I nor the love does the same

A bus of Standing Men

this happened days ago and i was planning to post this sooner but something happened.... anyways,,,
i was waiting for a bus and finally it arrived, it stopped meters away from me so about five men got in before i did. it didn't really bother me that much, but at the back of my mind iwas like thinking men,,, to make the story short, i had to stand up for some time. a few kilometers later, someone stood up, a guy, about four feet tall and a hunchback at that, stood up and offered me his seat despite the three other men standing closer to him. i smiled and said a thank you before i sat. i noticed that after he did that, several other men stood up from their seat and offered the ladies their seats.to be honest, i was thinking the reason why he did that was because he was close to his stopover, but surprisingly, he didn't get off the bus until almost thirty minutes later. i looked around and i realized that all the standing passengers in the bus are men, not a single lady on her feet. i took time (since i was still far away from my neigborhood) to obsreve and i realized that whenever a lady comes inside the bus, a man would stand up and offer her his seat, something that didn't happen before my hunchback friend initiated anything.i couldn't help but smile after that thinking what would've happened if my  friend didn't do anything, would it be the same?anyway,i was glad that it happened,coz it sort of brought back my respect for some men.

tanong...

pag ang tao'y malamlam, luklukan ng tanglaw
hinipan ng hangi't namatayan ng ilaw
may boses bang tatawag at sa kanya'y magliligtas
o dapat siyang tumayong kusa't maghanap ng lakas

pag ang puso'y nabitawan at biglang bumagsak
hinalikan ang sahig at sadyang nabasag
bubog at salamin dapat bang iwasan
o sumugal at pulutin kahit pa masugatan

kung ang katawa't espiritu ay binalot ng nginig
sa takot, sa lungkot at damdaming malamig
sa apoy at sa init, siya ba'y lalapit
o yayakapin na langang sarili ng mahigpit

kung nabuo at bumuo ang sarili ng tanong
nang isipa'y nagbukas at biglang bumulong
maghahanap ba siya't maglalaan ng pagod
o hahayaan na lamang manahimik ang sagot?


wrote this just recently with nothing quite in mind.... sorry if it's not that good...

Searchlight Epilogue

This is the Epilogue of one of my stories, "SEarchlight", it's in Filipino so all foreign friends out there, if you want the translated version, just comment and request and i'll make you one. this is a love story... if you want the whole story, just send me an email or post in on the comments so i'd see.. okay???


Ang lahat ay tila natutunaw sa iyong mga tingin, at ang mga bagay na kinatatakutan ko, ngayo’y tila mga simpleng bato na lang sa aking daraanan. Sa isang gabing nagtatago ang buwan sa likod ng maiitim na ulap, bigla kang lumapag, aking anghel, isang pamilyar na pigura subalit tila rin walang tunay na pangalan. Sa unang tingi’y isa ka lang simpleng liwanag, walang kahit ano, isa lang maliit na liwanag, ngunit sa aking pagtitig, unti-unti kong naramdamang isa ka ring apoy, isang init sa gitna ng lamig ng tila namamatay kong espirito. Inisip kong ika’y maglalaho, o marahil, kung hindi ma’y unti-unti ka ring lalamunin ng dilim, at magiging bahagi ka ng kawalang hindi ko matakasan. Hanggang sa hindi ko na ito mapigilan, ang lumapit sa liwanag mo at magpabayang ako’y iyong dalhin mo sa isang lugar na tanging mga may pakpak lang ang may karapatang pumunta. Marahil, hindi ko talaga nagawang tumakas, at hindi mo rin ako tinulungang tumakas, sa halip ako’y tinulungan mong lumaban, ang tuluyang gapiin ang isang kawalang sumasakal sa aking paghinga, at wala man lang akong magawa kundi ang bumulong ng ilang pasasalamat...
Isa ba itong kahinaan? Ang pabayaan na lang ang aking sarili na sumuko sa iyo? Marahil. Isang pagsuko ng tanging bagay na maibibigay ko sa’yo... Isang pagtanggal ng maskarang kay tagal ko ring ginamit... Tama. Isa itong pagsuko. Aanhin ko pa ba ang lumaban, para saan pang dahilan? Ang mga pakpak na alay mo’y hindi ko matatanggihan, at kung sakali mang matunaw na ang mga pakpak ng mga anghel, mananatili kang malakas na hangin, mananatili tayo sa kalangitan...
Isa ka rin sigurong salamangkero. Sa gitna ng mga problemang aking hinaharap, tila kay gaan pa rin ng loob ko... ano pa ba ito, kundi isang salamangka?
Ang lahat ng kwento’y may katapusan, ngunit wala akong kinatatakutan. Ang buhay na ito, ang kwento ng buhay nating dalawa, ay hinihiling rin ng iba, subalit inaabot sila ng habangbuhay sa paghahanap lang nito. Kay palad ko, sapagkat sa buhay na ito’y naranasan ko ang pinapanaginip lang ng iba, ano bang dapat hilingin pa? Marahil, isa na lang... ang sa susunod na buhay ko, at sa ilang susunod pa’y ikaw ay manatiling bahagi. Kay ramot ko sapagkat nais kong ipagkait sa iba ang pag-ibig mo, pero ito ang totoo, at ito na lang ang sigaw ng puso ko... kung sakaling sa susunod na buhay nating dalawa’y ipinasyang hindi tayo itatadhana sa isa’t-isa, ako naman ang maghahanap, gaya ng paghahanap mo nang ako’y tila ba nawawala, ako naman ang maghahanap sa’yo... nais kong maging isang liwanag na maghahanap sa’yo...

Of Love and Poems

another poem for the inlove people out there...

…Of Love and Poems…

Ponder on poems I can’t complete
I give up, I retreat!
I can’t seem to find simple words to rhyme
This love inside, this oh so sweet crime!

I’m afraid I’ve lost the skill that I own
All the time I spent having it honed!
Just because my mind’s in a mess
Gone crazy praying for your sweet caress

My darling, my love, my heart’s only keeper
Why can’t I break free from you, sorcerer?
What else can it be but magic, so enchanted
To make me this mystified, this exited?

And yet you don’t seem to know
How you spellbound me, how you do it so
How your smiles, your stares, your accidental look
Quiver my heart, steal it like a crook

Even now I can’t think
Of any word to rhyme but ‘blink’
Because my brain seems to wobble and twitch
While I think of something for my tongue not to twist

I can’t continue, not anymore
Because this love penetrates my very core
This muscle they call my stupid heart
Blown away by cupid’s dart…

text message

a poem for all cellphine addicts waiting for that message

Message Recieved!

I’m waiting for this text message
While turning this book’s page
Hoping that your name will appear
Or that ringtone for me to hear

Thinking that this cellphone will vibrate
Not a minute too soon or too late
No longer listening to my classmate’s report
Hoping that classes would seem so short

I hate to hope for a little too much
If this heart falls, please have it fetched
Surprised a little, i can hardly believe
Your name is in here, message recieved!

abandoned children,,

guys, this is another one,, i wrote this last sunday, i think, but since i was offline that day, i couldn't publish anything, well, you don't have to read this if you don't want to.. this was just a sort of emotional outburst!
wah!!
June 30, 2007
Saturday, 10:04 pm

Just watched Jessica Sojo Reports and my heart is breaking whenever I remember the last part of it.
It’s late, and my parents probably will be scolding me anytime soon, but I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep unless I pour this out on something…
It’s hard to say the whole thing in English; I’ll do my best but no promises.
Anyway, the last report was about abandoned children, some of them special children. It breaks my heart when I think of how parents can do that to their own flesh and blood. Well, to me, it’s not just a matter of being a parent, but a matter of being human. I mean, how can anyone just abandon a mindless infant somewhere, or even think of killing it? (Sometime in the report, mentioned something about a mother almost flushing her baby in the fast food toilet)
Some of the abandoned children, as I’ve mentioned, are special, if you get my drift. I really don’t know what to say because my siblings as well as my other relatives are all normal, but still. Why can’t some people understand the reason we call them special?
I really just don’t understand how anyone could have the heart to leave anything living somewhere and completely abandon it. I mean, I could just be overly emotional about this, like the time my brother found a kitten on our backyard, and I wanted to keep it but my Mom said we can’t so she had it thrown somewhere, and I had to take moments to myself so that I could cry (and that was just a kitten), but to be honest, I think anyone who doesn’t think that abandoning a human baby is cruel must be completely heartless.
I really should not be judging people like this, no one should, but I can’t help being disappointed at the mothers who could do such a thing (I refuse to use the word angry). Like what I’ve said, it’s no longer just the matter of being a parent, but of being human. Of course, some of them might be thinking that if they don’t do that, they might not be able to raise their children properly and the kids will probably end up in some situation wherein monetary matters become some problem, but still… to leave your child under the bus seat? What if the kid gets stepped on or something? Under the taxi seat? What if by some unfortunate incident the taxi gets into an accident or something?
Some use the excuse of not being ready. Well damn hell. They should’ve thought about that when they were still in bed doing the dirty with some boy, now shouldn’t they? Some people just seem too absorbed in themselves, thinking of nothing but pleasure ignoring all the responsibilities that should come with the freedom they have that they chose to use with their bodies. Jeez, I sound like some old lady.
Part of me, however, is telling me that I should still be somehow thankful to the mothers of those children. Why? Because they still bore them and gave them the chance to live, if only to give them away. I mean, recently a friend showed me this site where you can find pics of aborted children, and I tell you, it makes me want to thank my parents of how grateful I am that they let me live, and I’m not even that thankful to be alive. Somehow, at least, they hadn’t had the heart to take the children’s chances at life before they even began. I could go on and on with this, especially how I totally dislike countries that legalized abortion, but that would take too long and I don’t think anyone would like to read a long blog.
I really am doing my best to understand the women and the situations they must be in to do something like that, but for some reason part of me is screaming at me that it’s just plainly wrong, it’s against all humane values, all humane emotions, against every and any reason we are called humans in the first place. (I know I should have taken a major in Philosophy or something with Psychology instead of Engineering)
While watching those kid’s faces on TV, I just can’t help feeling all teary, and I’m really hoping that the mothers of those children don’t get a good night’s sleep tonight because honestly I don’t think I will, and I’m not even a parent yet.

POEM

as promised! yay!!!

i wrote this poem for a certain unrealistic bishie!! wah *lol*! so anyway, guys who don't know what bishie means, it's short for bishounen, what apparently means "pretty boy"! wah!! hey, flamers, don't be so hard on me, i was 12 at that time!

anyway, here goes!

Your Green Eyes
Caught up in a world that’s not even real
Characters who can’t even feel

Even so, I was deeply mesmerized
By what seems to be your animated green eyes

Your beautiful face that even I sometimes envy
Is to look out for, especially

I wish to live in your wonderful universe
That’s why my reality, I partially curse

If only forever, I could drift in paper lies
Just to eternally see your lovely green eyes